Three years ago today Ethan's life, my daughter's life and all of my family's lives where changed, because of the choices that certain members of the Salvation Army Amphi Corps made. Choices that would forever have an impact on the life of an innocent little boy.
It's been three years and I'm still waiting for these people to admit and accept responsibility. I know I wait in vain. I know that sadly the truth is that this organization cares much more about their public image than in doing the right thing by Ethan and my family. This organization cares nothing about the feelings of one grandmother, whose whole life was turned upside down. Who has had to sit by and watch my daughter struggle with financial worries, and medical worries where Ethan is concerned.
Sitting by watching them both endure something that no one should have to and yet knowing that this organization, the Salvation Army and it's hired lawyers care more about their public image than standing up and taking responsibility. It almost as painful as having to watch Ethan suffer the after math of a non-fatal drowning.
Sadly I sit and watch an organization whom I once cared for and admired treat me and my family like we don't count. Treat us as something that must be dealt with and a secret that must be hidden away.
They want me to go away quietly and never mention their name when I tell Ethan's story, they want to continue to perpetuate an image in that they care for their community. Well Ethan, Rose and I are part of that community and from where I stand it seems to me that they feel that Ethan didn't matter and doesn't count.
It seems to me that my family is to them a 'problem' that needs to be dealt with, a potential black mark on their image.
Well to me Ethan and Rose count, to me having to see the daily struggle and knowing what a bright little boy with such potential now has to endure. It matters to me, he counts.
Sadly I know that the probability of me ever getting a public acknowledgment of what happened 3 yrs ago and a public apology for what Ethan, Rose and I have had to endure is slim to none. I know that they care more about their public image than apologizing to the grandmother of a little boy. I get that. I get that they are 'afraid' that their organization may be damaged if they were to allow the truth to come out. But what I don't get and cannot accept is that they call themselves a christian organization.
As a christian organization they should know more than anyone what the bible says about keeping things hidden.
Ecclesiastes 12:14 "For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil."
Luke 8:17 "For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad."
They can try to sweep this under the rug, act like it never happened and continue to promote themselves as an organization that cares about it's community and is to quote them "Doing the most good"
To me it's a joke. The definition of good is "That which is morally right, righteousness"
There is nothing morally right or good about the way they have handled not only the decision that went into caring for the children at the summer day camp, but also the way they and their attorneys have handled the aftermath. Nothing they do will ever be good until they can at least stand up and admit their wrongdoings, accept responsibility and acknowledge the truth.
So here we are 3 yrs later and I'm still sitting by the bedside of a little boy who should be enjoying the summer activities other little boys are enjoying. 3 yrs later and I still wait for an apology that will probably never come.
They can try to forget Ethan Bennett ever existed as a bright and healthy boy. They can try to forget it was their decisions that led to this tragedy. They can try to forget me, Rose and Ethan ever existed, but as for me I WILL NEVER forget.
I will continue to promote water safety and continue to try to protect other children from the nightmare of a near-drowning and it's horrible aftermath. I wouldn't want any other family to have to endure what we've had to endure.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Modern Day Scribes and Pharisees
Recently many of Tucson’s elite citizens showed up to support the Salvation Army’s Encore fashion show and it really stung to see that much support for the organization responsible for nearly killing my grandson. I watched my family react to the fact that so many well known members of our community could turn out and offer their support to the very organization that is responsible for doing this to Ethan, but continues to refuse to accept responsibility, instead has dragged my family through hell.
There is a difference between lending your voice and using your status to bring awareness to a cause and showing up to an event, you really know nothing about. I can only presume it’s that you want to be seen and rub elbows with others just so you feel good about yourself. You show up, pose for the cameras rub elbows with the crème de la crème of Tucson society, and publicly proclaim what a good organization this is. How do you know? Did you forget what happened to Ethan? You probably did because well after all Ethan was yesterday’s news and he isn’t a congressman, or a celebrity and wasn’t in the presence of one when he was injured.
You forget that the very organization you are supporting is responsible for what happened to an innocent young boy and has yet to accept responsibility for their failure to protect a child in their care. Instead they spend hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions fighting a lawsuit and denying any culpability. Why? Because if the truth came out, perhaps you wouldn’t be so quick to jump up and attend a fashion show, you’d move on to the next ‘cause’ that you could walk away from and pat yourself on the back and feel good about. See me? I did a good thing.
I challenge each of you who attended, participated or otherwise have supported any charity organization to really find out what they do with your donations. To hold them accountable when they fail to protect our children, when they fail to live up to their mission statement and support the very community from which they draw their funding.
I sat over the past week and watch the news and how the family of little John Federico struggled by holding car wash after car wash to raise money to pay the funeral costs to bury their little 7 yr old boy, who was gunned down in front of his home.
Where were the major league players for this little boy? Sadly I’ve come to realize that we can fill a basketball arena, when the President of the United States shows up, but we can’t come to the aid of our neighbors and friends who have be struck by tragedy!
Unless that tragedy occurs in the mainstream media spotlight. Just because John John was not standing next to a public figure or a celebrity when his life was taken, or just because no one of import was at the Salvation Army pool when Ethan nearly lost his life, doesn’t mean that this these lives don’t matter. Ethan was and is important to me. He is my ONLY grandson and I no longer get to hear his voice call me 'grandma'.
I mean no disrespect to those killed and injured in January. I have sat and cried at the pain all these families went through and I have cried for my grandson as well.
I wonder what would be the quality of his life, if he had received the very best care in the early days after sustaining his injury. Instead because he is not a public figure or a celebrity, he was sent to a state funded facility.
Why does my daughter have to rely on public aid and welfare because she has to care for her son and hasn’t been able to return to work?
So the next time you do your alms in public, remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 6
1Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
2Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
3But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
4That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
There is a difference between lending your voice and using your status to bring awareness to a cause and showing up to an event, you really know nothing about. I can only presume it’s that you want to be seen and rub elbows with others just so you feel good about yourself. You show up, pose for the cameras rub elbows with the crème de la crème of Tucson society, and publicly proclaim what a good organization this is. How do you know? Did you forget what happened to Ethan? You probably did because well after all Ethan was yesterday’s news and he isn’t a congressman, or a celebrity and wasn’t in the presence of one when he was injured.
You forget that the very organization you are supporting is responsible for what happened to an innocent young boy and has yet to accept responsibility for their failure to protect a child in their care. Instead they spend hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions fighting a lawsuit and denying any culpability. Why? Because if the truth came out, perhaps you wouldn’t be so quick to jump up and attend a fashion show, you’d move on to the next ‘cause’ that you could walk away from and pat yourself on the back and feel good about. See me? I did a good thing.
I challenge each of you who attended, participated or otherwise have supported any charity organization to really find out what they do with your donations. To hold them accountable when they fail to protect our children, when they fail to live up to their mission statement and support the very community from which they draw their funding.
I sat over the past week and watch the news and how the family of little John Federico struggled by holding car wash after car wash to raise money to pay the funeral costs to bury their little 7 yr old boy, who was gunned down in front of his home.
Where were the major league players for this little boy? Sadly I’ve come to realize that we can fill a basketball arena, when the President of the United States shows up, but we can’t come to the aid of our neighbors and friends who have be struck by tragedy!
Unless that tragedy occurs in the mainstream media spotlight. Just because John John was not standing next to a public figure or a celebrity when his life was taken, or just because no one of import was at the Salvation Army pool when Ethan nearly lost his life, doesn’t mean that this these lives don’t matter. Ethan was and is important to me. He is my ONLY grandson and I no longer get to hear his voice call me 'grandma'.
I mean no disrespect to those killed and injured in January. I have sat and cried at the pain all these families went through and I have cried for my grandson as well.
I wonder what would be the quality of his life, if he had received the very best care in the early days after sustaining his injury. Instead because he is not a public figure or a celebrity, he was sent to a state funded facility.
Why does my daughter have to rely on public aid and welfare because she has to care for her son and hasn’t been able to return to work?
So the next time you do your alms in public, remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 6
1Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
2Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
3But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
4That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Stand Up- Ha! Take Your Own Advice Salvation Army!
Does it confound others as much as it does me that the Salvation Army can spend the time, energy and money to have a band march in the Rose Bowl Parade and of all things play a song called “Stand Up”, When they refuse to stand up and take responsibility for what they have done to Ethan?
This organization will spend money on their ad campaigns and public image but they won’t stand by their own mission to “Do the Most Good” What good did they do, in being careless about taking care of the children in their charge? Why won’t they just tell the truth? I challenge them to start by standing up and taking ownership and responsibility for what they failed to do, and that is keep a child safe.
If you agree that the Salvation Army NEEDS to STAND UP and Do the Right Thing for Ethan, feel free to re post this message on your own blogs etc. You can also contact me at all4ethan@gmail.com
This organization will spend money on their ad campaigns and public image but they won’t stand by their own mission to “Do the Most Good” What good did they do, in being careless about taking care of the children in their charge? Why won’t they just tell the truth? I challenge them to start by standing up and taking ownership and responsibility for what they failed to do, and that is keep a child safe.
If you agree that the Salvation Army NEEDS to STAND UP and Do the Right Thing for Ethan, feel free to re post this message on your own blogs etc. You can also contact me at all4ethan@gmail.com
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Holiday Happiness, Holiday Sadness
This Christmas was even harder than last. Last year I was just so excited to have Ethan and Rose home from spending 6 long months in hospitals and away from home, but this year, on Christmas morning I struggled to keep a happy face and not let Ethan see me cry.
We were blessed with a beautiful Christmas tree, donated to us by the wonderful employees at the Christmas tree lot at the Home Depot at El Con Mall. So if you need something from a home improvement store, send some business their way, they are decent people!
I want to be clear why I am so upset at the Salvation Army, I am upset because they have been able to perpetuate this image of being such a wonderful organization, but in reality they really don't care about the community they serve. If they did they wouldn't have people such as John Kelley with criminal records caring for children. If they were this organization they claim to be, they would have honored the own mission statement "Do the Most Good" and with or without a letter, done the right thing and stepped up to ease the financial burden that their irresponsibility and lack of planing to keep children safe has created for my family.
There is NOTHING, let me repeat NOTHING they can say or do that will change the fact that the people at the pool on June 2, 2009 were NOT watching my grandson. They are responsible for what happen, and yet I've not been apologized too, nor have they taken responsibility. They cower in silence, on this subject, but are very quick to go in front of the media, claiming they are a wonderful organization that cares about the community.
I am a member of this community, Ethan is a member of this community... where's your caring actions for us? Where's your Christ like love and service to God?
We were blessed with a beautiful Christmas tree, donated to us by the wonderful employees at the Christmas tree lot at the Home Depot at El Con Mall. So if you need something from a home improvement store, send some business their way, they are decent people!
I want to be clear why I am so upset at the Salvation Army, I am upset because they have been able to perpetuate this image of being such a wonderful organization, but in reality they really don't care about the community they serve. If they did they wouldn't have people such as John Kelley with criminal records caring for children. If they were this organization they claim to be, they would have honored the own mission statement "Do the Most Good" and with or without a letter, done the right thing and stepped up to ease the financial burden that their irresponsibility and lack of planing to keep children safe has created for my family.
There is NOTHING, let me repeat NOTHING they can say or do that will change the fact that the people at the pool on June 2, 2009 were NOT watching my grandson. They are responsible for what happen, and yet I've not been apologized too, nor have they taken responsibility. They cower in silence, on this subject, but are very quick to go in front of the media, claiming they are a wonderful organization that cares about the community.
I am a member of this community, Ethan is a member of this community... where's your caring actions for us? Where's your Christ like love and service to God?
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Snow in Tucson??
Well not really snow, but the magical effect was there all the same.
Yesterday, I was thrilled to be able to spend the day with Ethan, and as we tried to enjoy the Christmas season, I found myself getting choked up a lot. One stop we made was at the Children's Clinic for a special visit with Santa Claus. I was thrilled with how patient Santa was with all the special needs children. After spending some time sharing secrets with Santa, and posing for a picture, Santa told Ethan he could pick a gift from the buckets next to the tree. At those words I saw the smile on Ethan's face and I felt my eyes starting to water. Fighting to keep my composure, I helped Rose, pick out something that Ethan would enjoy, and we turned to leave.
A volunteer approached us and told us not to leave, that we still needed to take Ethan into Santa's workshop. Well this was an unexpected surprise, so I followed Rose and Ethan into the workshop and felt just like a kid again as I looked at all the toys laid out on tables.
There was so many wonderful toys, but nothing really for Ethan. Because of Ethan's limitations, it was hard to choose something he could enjoy. As i watched Rose looking at the selection and trying to find something Ethan could enjoy, I really started to cry, as I went back to Christmas '08 memories of Ethan with the family enjoying all the holidays had to offer, including our family tradition of a wagon ride through Winter Haven.
One of the volunteers brought out a Sponge Bob Lego set and Ethan once again broke into a great big smile. By this time, my face was soaked with tears, then another volunteer came up and gave him a soft little Teddy Bear! With help Ethan was able to cuddle his new fiend and with his toys on his lap, we wished all the volunteers a Merry Christmas and headed out to our next stop.
After a few more errands, we headed up to La Encantada to see the snowfall. I didn't know where the even would take place so I saw a woman, with children and approached them to ask as Rose got Ethan out of the van. This lady was very nice and explained where we needed to go. The children's grandmother was there and said just follow us, and I said I need the elevator, and she said no just go down the stairs you can follow us, I replied, I can but my grandson can't, at which point she looked up from buttoning her granddaughter's coat and her gazed moved towards Ethan. I saw the look on her face, that I've seen so many times before, a look of pity mixed with curiosity, and embarrassment. I told her it was okay, as they directed me to the elevators.
We made our way to the courtyard and were trying to decide where the best place to stand was, when I heard a voice behind me say: "I see you made it" I looked and it was the family we'd met in the parking lot. I thanked them again for their help and could still see the curiosity in their faces, so I told them Ethan's story. That prior to June of 2009, he had been a healthy happy boy, who was not only very bright, but funny and kind. The kind of kid, every parent would want as their child.
This family helped us figure out which way to face Ethan's wheelchair so he could get the full affect of the snowfall and enjoy the moment. As the snow started to fall and the Christmas carols were being played, I got lost for a moment in the wonderful magical feeling of it all. And in the blink of an eye, many Christmases flashed through my mind, from my own childhood, to Rose's, to the too few precious one's we use to share with Ethan, when he could sing along and interact with the family. I really started to cry as I watched the children Ethan's age, dance around and chatter with their families.
I tried to compose myself as I looked back at Ethan, and when I did I saw the joy on his face as the snow began to fall. This helped me for a moment forget the pain, I carry with me daily. We moved his chair so he could be under the falling snow and all of us laughed as we watched this 'snow' fall on each other's hair and faces. It truly was a magical moment, with globs of 'snow' on my nose, chin and eyelashes, Ethan laughed and although this moment was fleeting, it was the start of new Christmas memories, in our new life.
You see last year at this time, we were getting ready for Ethan to come home from the hospital, and so we were so focused on getting housing secured and equipment that Ethan needed, there wasn't much time to think of anything else. All we knew was that Ethan would be home in time for Christmas.
I wish there was a way everyone could see Ethan's face in person. He is such a wonderful boy, and when you look in his face you see his spirit is there, the same loving boy is there. It's the one thing they couldn't steal away from us. It's this face and the love that radiates from it, that keeps me fighting. Fighting to get the resources that may make a difference in the quality of his life.
I truly believe there are treatments available that could help him improve, I just don't have the financial resources to provide those and that breaks my heart.
Yesterday, I was thrilled to be able to spend the day with Ethan, and as we tried to enjoy the Christmas season, I found myself getting choked up a lot. One stop we made was at the Children's Clinic for a special visit with Santa Claus. I was thrilled with how patient Santa was with all the special needs children. After spending some time sharing secrets with Santa, and posing for a picture, Santa told Ethan he could pick a gift from the buckets next to the tree. At those words I saw the smile on Ethan's face and I felt my eyes starting to water. Fighting to keep my composure, I helped Rose, pick out something that Ethan would enjoy, and we turned to leave.
A volunteer approached us and told us not to leave, that we still needed to take Ethan into Santa's workshop. Well this was an unexpected surprise, so I followed Rose and Ethan into the workshop and felt just like a kid again as I looked at all the toys laid out on tables.
There was so many wonderful toys, but nothing really for Ethan. Because of Ethan's limitations, it was hard to choose something he could enjoy. As i watched Rose looking at the selection and trying to find something Ethan could enjoy, I really started to cry, as I went back to Christmas '08 memories of Ethan with the family enjoying all the holidays had to offer, including our family tradition of a wagon ride through Winter Haven.
One of the volunteers brought out a Sponge Bob Lego set and Ethan once again broke into a great big smile. By this time, my face was soaked with tears, then another volunteer came up and gave him a soft little Teddy Bear! With help Ethan was able to cuddle his new fiend and with his toys on his lap, we wished all the volunteers a Merry Christmas and headed out to our next stop.
After a few more errands, we headed up to La Encantada to see the snowfall. I didn't know where the even would take place so I saw a woman, with children and approached them to ask as Rose got Ethan out of the van. This lady was very nice and explained where we needed to go. The children's grandmother was there and said just follow us, and I said I need the elevator, and she said no just go down the stairs you can follow us, I replied, I can but my grandson can't, at which point she looked up from buttoning her granddaughter's coat and her gazed moved towards Ethan. I saw the look on her face, that I've seen so many times before, a look of pity mixed with curiosity, and embarrassment. I told her it was okay, as they directed me to the elevators.
We made our way to the courtyard and were trying to decide where the best place to stand was, when I heard a voice behind me say: "I see you made it" I looked and it was the family we'd met in the parking lot. I thanked them again for their help and could still see the curiosity in their faces, so I told them Ethan's story. That prior to June of 2009, he had been a healthy happy boy, who was not only very bright, but funny and kind. The kind of kid, every parent would want as their child.
This family helped us figure out which way to face Ethan's wheelchair so he could get the full affect of the snowfall and enjoy the moment. As the snow started to fall and the Christmas carols were being played, I got lost for a moment in the wonderful magical feeling of it all. And in the blink of an eye, many Christmases flashed through my mind, from my own childhood, to Rose's, to the too few precious one's we use to share with Ethan, when he could sing along and interact with the family. I really started to cry as I watched the children Ethan's age, dance around and chatter with their families.
I tried to compose myself as I looked back at Ethan, and when I did I saw the joy on his face as the snow began to fall. This helped me for a moment forget the pain, I carry with me daily. We moved his chair so he could be under the falling snow and all of us laughed as we watched this 'snow' fall on each other's hair and faces. It truly was a magical moment, with globs of 'snow' on my nose, chin and eyelashes, Ethan laughed and although this moment was fleeting, it was the start of new Christmas memories, in our new life.
You see last year at this time, we were getting ready for Ethan to come home from the hospital, and so we were so focused on getting housing secured and equipment that Ethan needed, there wasn't much time to think of anything else. All we knew was that Ethan would be home in time for Christmas.
I wish there was a way everyone could see Ethan's face in person. He is such a wonderful boy, and when you look in his face you see his spirit is there, the same loving boy is there. It's the one thing they couldn't steal away from us. It's this face and the love that radiates from it, that keeps me fighting. Fighting to get the resources that may make a difference in the quality of his life.
I truly believe there are treatments available that could help him improve, I just don't have the financial resources to provide those and that breaks my heart.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
18 months later
I realized the other day that it has been 18 months, since my life and more importantly Ethan's life was forever changed. As the 2nd Christmas without the sound of Ethan's voice creeps upon us. I can't help but continue to be frustrated. I know many people probably are thinking 'get over it already' and maybe I should be moving past what happened faster than I am. One thing I have learned is that grief takes on different forms for different people and we all heal at our own pace.
I know one of the things that has continued to frustrate and yes anger me, is the people responsible for this have yet to:
1. Acknowledge their carelessness
2. Apologize to me and my family (mostly Ethan) for destroying his life
2. Keep their promises and stand by their word
Back in June 2009 Lt. Colonel Doug Danielson promised on behalf of the Salvation Army that the Salvation Army would pay for anything insurance didn't cover. At the time we thought "Great! Wonderful! Ethan will get the care he needs!"
But soon we found out those were just empty words. Words of a Christian and more importantly a christian organization should be kept and should be honored.
Not so with Lt Colonel Danielson and the Salvation Army. Ethan has missed out on treatments and other therapies that might, just might be the difference in his recovery and progress.
We've been told that he will NEVER be the same, but I still hold out hope. Hope that as Rob once told me, as long as there is life there is hope. So I hope that Ethan will recovery and be the same little boy he was before we dared to trust an organization and their summer camp program.
At the very least I hope that I will once again here his voice say "Grandma" it's been way too long since I've heard my precious grandson talk to me.
I know I haven't posted in a very long time... so much has gone on and so many things to deal with, seems like before long another day then week, then month goes by.
What I haven't stopped doing is sharing Ethan's story and trying to keep other children safe.
What I haven't stopped doing is holding the people responsible for this accountable. Do what you said you were going to do Lt. Colonel Danielson. If you won't I'll continue to do what I can to hold you accountable until you do.
I know one of the things that has continued to frustrate and yes anger me, is the people responsible for this have yet to:
1. Acknowledge their carelessness
2. Apologize to me and my family (mostly Ethan) for destroying his life
2. Keep their promises and stand by their word
Back in June 2009 Lt. Colonel Doug Danielson promised on behalf of the Salvation Army that the Salvation Army would pay for anything insurance didn't cover. At the time we thought "Great! Wonderful! Ethan will get the care he needs!"
But soon we found out those were just empty words. Words of a Christian and more importantly a christian organization should be kept and should be honored.
Not so with Lt Colonel Danielson and the Salvation Army. Ethan has missed out on treatments and other therapies that might, just might be the difference in his recovery and progress.
We've been told that he will NEVER be the same, but I still hold out hope. Hope that as Rob once told me, as long as there is life there is hope. So I hope that Ethan will recovery and be the same little boy he was before we dared to trust an organization and their summer camp program.
At the very least I hope that I will once again here his voice say "Grandma" it's been way too long since I've heard my precious grandson talk to me.
I know I haven't posted in a very long time... so much has gone on and so many things to deal with, seems like before long another day then week, then month goes by.
What I haven't stopped doing is sharing Ethan's story and trying to keep other children safe.
What I haven't stopped doing is holding the people responsible for this accountable. Do what you said you were going to do Lt. Colonel Danielson. If you won't I'll continue to do what I can to hold you accountable until you do.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Last Year
Last year I had just kissed Ethan goodnight, after a night of hanging with him. We played Star Wars Lego’s on the WII and hung out and laughed and talked. If only I know that it would be the last time we would be able to hang out like that. That it would be the last time I would hear his voice, perhaps forever. I don't want to be pessimistic; I want to be able to believe that he will be back 100%. But I would be lying if I didn't say my faith hasn't been shaken.
I am so sick of people feeling pity for me or feeling awkward around me when I want to talk about this. I am so sick of feeling like I can't feel anger about this situation. I am so sick of how this has affected so much of my life.
I'm upset that the Salvation Army and John Kelley in particular will NOT step up and admit what they did. I really won't ever understand how these people go about their lives knowing that laziness and carelessness caused Ethan to have endured all he’s been through the past year.
I’m so sick of trying to figure out how I can help my daughter pay her bills, let alone get Ethan into Hyperbaric, while people keep asking “Won’t the Salvation Army pay?”
I will be the first to admit that I have to let go and trust God, but honestly I can’t. I’ve lost faith. I don’t understand how God will answer my prayers from a year ago and spare my daughter’s life, but not bring Ethan up out of that bed.
I know how much he has improved and I know he continues to fight and improve each day, but still it doesn’t make any difference, I can’t help what’s in my heart and God already knows.
I’m damn sick and tired of people, the worst offenders in my opinion being certain family members, they know who they are. The ones, who have said over and over, I’ll be there, tell me what you need, and when it comes right down to it haven’t even made an effort to go see Ethan. I’m done with you, don’t ask how Ethan is, and don’t ask what you can do. Because if you really wanted to know, you would have made time to go see him, you would have already done what you know you should do. Help Rose, and not just financially either. Call her, let her know you care, stop by and sit with Ethan, so she can go out and have a ‘normal’ day. Or just go about your life and don’t worry about us, but don’t pretend. You’re actions speak volumes of what’s in your heart.
I done, I’m over it. I don’t need your damn pity anymore. I don’t need you ‘helping’ us. Maybe I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but right or wrong, this is how I feel.
I do feel extremely proud of my daughter Rose. She has shown such remarkable strength and love fighting for care for Ethan and being by his side 100% of the time. She has had to endure so much and yet she does it, when it was only a year before that she was so sick. His own father couldn’t be there for him before the incident, much less after.
What an amazing person she is. And Ethan, oh my goodness, he is just so absolutely strong and amazing. His smile still both warms and breaks my heart. I love that little boy like nothing on this earth. I see a strong spirit that WILL not be squashed, that will not be kept down; if ever there was a fighter, it is Ethan. He is so absolutely, positively the most wonderful little boy ever. I know he won’t give up and that helps me to not want to give up.
Tonight I was asked what I wanted as resolution to all this, and to be quite honest, aside from being able to go back and change the outcome. I’m not 100% sure. I know I would want to be able to prevent this type of tragedy from happening to anyone else. To maybe even make the carelessness of how they cared for those children that day, a criminal act. To maybe just as I’ve said before, for people to admit how stupid it all was. That all it took was someone paying attention.
I do know that I will one day get past this anger I've carried around for a year, but that day is not today. That day is not on the near horizon.
I am so sick of people feeling pity for me or feeling awkward around me when I want to talk about this. I am so sick of feeling like I can't feel anger about this situation. I am so sick of how this has affected so much of my life.
I'm upset that the Salvation Army and John Kelley in particular will NOT step up and admit what they did. I really won't ever understand how these people go about their lives knowing that laziness and carelessness caused Ethan to have endured all he’s been through the past year.
I’m so sick of trying to figure out how I can help my daughter pay her bills, let alone get Ethan into Hyperbaric, while people keep asking “Won’t the Salvation Army pay?”
I will be the first to admit that I have to let go and trust God, but honestly I can’t. I’ve lost faith. I don’t understand how God will answer my prayers from a year ago and spare my daughter’s life, but not bring Ethan up out of that bed.
I know how much he has improved and I know he continues to fight and improve each day, but still it doesn’t make any difference, I can’t help what’s in my heart and God already knows.
I’m damn sick and tired of people, the worst offenders in my opinion being certain family members, they know who they are. The ones, who have said over and over, I’ll be there, tell me what you need, and when it comes right down to it haven’t even made an effort to go see Ethan. I’m done with you, don’t ask how Ethan is, and don’t ask what you can do. Because if you really wanted to know, you would have made time to go see him, you would have already done what you know you should do. Help Rose, and not just financially either. Call her, let her know you care, stop by and sit with Ethan, so she can go out and have a ‘normal’ day. Or just go about your life and don’t worry about us, but don’t pretend. You’re actions speak volumes of what’s in your heart.
I done, I’m over it. I don’t need your damn pity anymore. I don’t need you ‘helping’ us. Maybe I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but right or wrong, this is how I feel.
I do feel extremely proud of my daughter Rose. She has shown such remarkable strength and love fighting for care for Ethan and being by his side 100% of the time. She has had to endure so much and yet she does it, when it was only a year before that she was so sick. His own father couldn’t be there for him before the incident, much less after.
What an amazing person she is. And Ethan, oh my goodness, he is just so absolutely strong and amazing. His smile still both warms and breaks my heart. I love that little boy like nothing on this earth. I see a strong spirit that WILL not be squashed, that will not be kept down; if ever there was a fighter, it is Ethan. He is so absolutely, positively the most wonderful little boy ever. I know he won’t give up and that helps me to not want to give up.
Tonight I was asked what I wanted as resolution to all this, and to be quite honest, aside from being able to go back and change the outcome. I’m not 100% sure. I know I would want to be able to prevent this type of tragedy from happening to anyone else. To maybe even make the carelessness of how they cared for those children that day, a criminal act. To maybe just as I’ve said before, for people to admit how stupid it all was. That all it took was someone paying attention.
I do know that I will one day get past this anger I've carried around for a year, but that day is not today. That day is not on the near horizon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
