Does it confound others as much as it does me that the Salvation Army can spend the time, energy and money to have a band march in the Rose Bowl Parade and of all things play a song called “Stand Up”, When they refuse to stand up and take responsibility for what they have done to Ethan?
This organization will spend money on their ad campaigns and public image but they won’t stand by their own mission to “Do the Most Good” What good did they do, in being careless about taking care of the children in their charge? Why won’t they just tell the truth? I challenge them to start by standing up and taking ownership and responsibility for what they failed to do, and that is keep a child safe.
If you agree that the Salvation Army NEEDS to STAND UP and Do the Right Thing for Ethan, feel free to re post this message on your own blogs etc. You can also contact me at all4ethan@gmail.com
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Holiday Happiness, Holiday Sadness
This Christmas was even harder than last. Last year I was just so excited to have Ethan and Rose home from spending 6 long months in hospitals and away from home, but this year, on Christmas morning I struggled to keep a happy face and not let Ethan see me cry.
We were blessed with a beautiful Christmas tree, donated to us by the wonderful employees at the Christmas tree lot at the Home Depot at El Con Mall. So if you need something from a home improvement store, send some business their way, they are decent people!
I want to be clear why I am so upset at the Salvation Army, I am upset because they have been able to perpetuate this image of being such a wonderful organization, but in reality they really don't care about the community they serve. If they did they wouldn't have people such as John Kelley with criminal records caring for children. If they were this organization they claim to be, they would have honored the own mission statement "Do the Most Good" and with or without a letter, done the right thing and stepped up to ease the financial burden that their irresponsibility and lack of planing to keep children safe has created for my family.
There is NOTHING, let me repeat NOTHING they can say or do that will change the fact that the people at the pool on June 2, 2009 were NOT watching my grandson. They are responsible for what happen, and yet I've not been apologized too, nor have they taken responsibility. They cower in silence, on this subject, but are very quick to go in front of the media, claiming they are a wonderful organization that cares about the community.
I am a member of this community, Ethan is a member of this community... where's your caring actions for us? Where's your Christ like love and service to God?
We were blessed with a beautiful Christmas tree, donated to us by the wonderful employees at the Christmas tree lot at the Home Depot at El Con Mall. So if you need something from a home improvement store, send some business their way, they are decent people!
I want to be clear why I am so upset at the Salvation Army, I am upset because they have been able to perpetuate this image of being such a wonderful organization, but in reality they really don't care about the community they serve. If they did they wouldn't have people such as John Kelley with criminal records caring for children. If they were this organization they claim to be, they would have honored the own mission statement "Do the Most Good" and with or without a letter, done the right thing and stepped up to ease the financial burden that their irresponsibility and lack of planing to keep children safe has created for my family.
There is NOTHING, let me repeat NOTHING they can say or do that will change the fact that the people at the pool on June 2, 2009 were NOT watching my grandson. They are responsible for what happen, and yet I've not been apologized too, nor have they taken responsibility. They cower in silence, on this subject, but are very quick to go in front of the media, claiming they are a wonderful organization that cares about the community.
I am a member of this community, Ethan is a member of this community... where's your caring actions for us? Where's your Christ like love and service to God?
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Snow in Tucson??
Well not really snow, but the magical effect was there all the same.
Yesterday, I was thrilled to be able to spend the day with Ethan, and as we tried to enjoy the Christmas season, I found myself getting choked up a lot. One stop we made was at the Children's Clinic for a special visit with Santa Claus. I was thrilled with how patient Santa was with all the special needs children. After spending some time sharing secrets with Santa, and posing for a picture, Santa told Ethan he could pick a gift from the buckets next to the tree. At those words I saw the smile on Ethan's face and I felt my eyes starting to water. Fighting to keep my composure, I helped Rose, pick out something that Ethan would enjoy, and we turned to leave.
A volunteer approached us and told us not to leave, that we still needed to take Ethan into Santa's workshop. Well this was an unexpected surprise, so I followed Rose and Ethan into the workshop and felt just like a kid again as I looked at all the toys laid out on tables.
There was so many wonderful toys, but nothing really for Ethan. Because of Ethan's limitations, it was hard to choose something he could enjoy. As i watched Rose looking at the selection and trying to find something Ethan could enjoy, I really started to cry, as I went back to Christmas '08 memories of Ethan with the family enjoying all the holidays had to offer, including our family tradition of a wagon ride through Winter Haven.
One of the volunteers brought out a Sponge Bob Lego set and Ethan once again broke into a great big smile. By this time, my face was soaked with tears, then another volunteer came up and gave him a soft little Teddy Bear! With help Ethan was able to cuddle his new fiend and with his toys on his lap, we wished all the volunteers a Merry Christmas and headed out to our next stop.
After a few more errands, we headed up to La Encantada to see the snowfall. I didn't know where the even would take place so I saw a woman, with children and approached them to ask as Rose got Ethan out of the van. This lady was very nice and explained where we needed to go. The children's grandmother was there and said just follow us, and I said I need the elevator, and she said no just go down the stairs you can follow us, I replied, I can but my grandson can't, at which point she looked up from buttoning her granddaughter's coat and her gazed moved towards Ethan. I saw the look on her face, that I've seen so many times before, a look of pity mixed with curiosity, and embarrassment. I told her it was okay, as they directed me to the elevators.
We made our way to the courtyard and were trying to decide where the best place to stand was, when I heard a voice behind me say: "I see you made it" I looked and it was the family we'd met in the parking lot. I thanked them again for their help and could still see the curiosity in their faces, so I told them Ethan's story. That prior to June of 2009, he had been a healthy happy boy, who was not only very bright, but funny and kind. The kind of kid, every parent would want as their child.
This family helped us figure out which way to face Ethan's wheelchair so he could get the full affect of the snowfall and enjoy the moment. As the snow started to fall and the Christmas carols were being played, I got lost for a moment in the wonderful magical feeling of it all. And in the blink of an eye, many Christmases flashed through my mind, from my own childhood, to Rose's, to the too few precious one's we use to share with Ethan, when he could sing along and interact with the family. I really started to cry as I watched the children Ethan's age, dance around and chatter with their families.
I tried to compose myself as I looked back at Ethan, and when I did I saw the joy on his face as the snow began to fall. This helped me for a moment forget the pain, I carry with me daily. We moved his chair so he could be under the falling snow and all of us laughed as we watched this 'snow' fall on each other's hair and faces. It truly was a magical moment, with globs of 'snow' on my nose, chin and eyelashes, Ethan laughed and although this moment was fleeting, it was the start of new Christmas memories, in our new life.
You see last year at this time, we were getting ready for Ethan to come home from the hospital, and so we were so focused on getting housing secured and equipment that Ethan needed, there wasn't much time to think of anything else. All we knew was that Ethan would be home in time for Christmas.
I wish there was a way everyone could see Ethan's face in person. He is such a wonderful boy, and when you look in his face you see his spirit is there, the same loving boy is there. It's the one thing they couldn't steal away from us. It's this face and the love that radiates from it, that keeps me fighting. Fighting to get the resources that may make a difference in the quality of his life.
I truly believe there are treatments available that could help him improve, I just don't have the financial resources to provide those and that breaks my heart.
Yesterday, I was thrilled to be able to spend the day with Ethan, and as we tried to enjoy the Christmas season, I found myself getting choked up a lot. One stop we made was at the Children's Clinic for a special visit with Santa Claus. I was thrilled with how patient Santa was with all the special needs children. After spending some time sharing secrets with Santa, and posing for a picture, Santa told Ethan he could pick a gift from the buckets next to the tree. At those words I saw the smile on Ethan's face and I felt my eyes starting to water. Fighting to keep my composure, I helped Rose, pick out something that Ethan would enjoy, and we turned to leave.
A volunteer approached us and told us not to leave, that we still needed to take Ethan into Santa's workshop. Well this was an unexpected surprise, so I followed Rose and Ethan into the workshop and felt just like a kid again as I looked at all the toys laid out on tables.
There was so many wonderful toys, but nothing really for Ethan. Because of Ethan's limitations, it was hard to choose something he could enjoy. As i watched Rose looking at the selection and trying to find something Ethan could enjoy, I really started to cry, as I went back to Christmas '08 memories of Ethan with the family enjoying all the holidays had to offer, including our family tradition of a wagon ride through Winter Haven.
One of the volunteers brought out a Sponge Bob Lego set and Ethan once again broke into a great big smile. By this time, my face was soaked with tears, then another volunteer came up and gave him a soft little Teddy Bear! With help Ethan was able to cuddle his new fiend and with his toys on his lap, we wished all the volunteers a Merry Christmas and headed out to our next stop.
After a few more errands, we headed up to La Encantada to see the snowfall. I didn't know where the even would take place so I saw a woman, with children and approached them to ask as Rose got Ethan out of the van. This lady was very nice and explained where we needed to go. The children's grandmother was there and said just follow us, and I said I need the elevator, and she said no just go down the stairs you can follow us, I replied, I can but my grandson can't, at which point she looked up from buttoning her granddaughter's coat and her gazed moved towards Ethan. I saw the look on her face, that I've seen so many times before, a look of pity mixed with curiosity, and embarrassment. I told her it was okay, as they directed me to the elevators.
We made our way to the courtyard and were trying to decide where the best place to stand was, when I heard a voice behind me say: "I see you made it" I looked and it was the family we'd met in the parking lot. I thanked them again for their help and could still see the curiosity in their faces, so I told them Ethan's story. That prior to June of 2009, he had been a healthy happy boy, who was not only very bright, but funny and kind. The kind of kid, every parent would want as their child.
This family helped us figure out which way to face Ethan's wheelchair so he could get the full affect of the snowfall and enjoy the moment. As the snow started to fall and the Christmas carols were being played, I got lost for a moment in the wonderful magical feeling of it all. And in the blink of an eye, many Christmases flashed through my mind, from my own childhood, to Rose's, to the too few precious one's we use to share with Ethan, when he could sing along and interact with the family. I really started to cry as I watched the children Ethan's age, dance around and chatter with their families.
I tried to compose myself as I looked back at Ethan, and when I did I saw the joy on his face as the snow began to fall. This helped me for a moment forget the pain, I carry with me daily. We moved his chair so he could be under the falling snow and all of us laughed as we watched this 'snow' fall on each other's hair and faces. It truly was a magical moment, with globs of 'snow' on my nose, chin and eyelashes, Ethan laughed and although this moment was fleeting, it was the start of new Christmas memories, in our new life.
You see last year at this time, we were getting ready for Ethan to come home from the hospital, and so we were so focused on getting housing secured and equipment that Ethan needed, there wasn't much time to think of anything else. All we knew was that Ethan would be home in time for Christmas.
I wish there was a way everyone could see Ethan's face in person. He is such a wonderful boy, and when you look in his face you see his spirit is there, the same loving boy is there. It's the one thing they couldn't steal away from us. It's this face and the love that radiates from it, that keeps me fighting. Fighting to get the resources that may make a difference in the quality of his life.
I truly believe there are treatments available that could help him improve, I just don't have the financial resources to provide those and that breaks my heart.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
18 months later
I realized the other day that it has been 18 months, since my life and more importantly Ethan's life was forever changed. As the 2nd Christmas without the sound of Ethan's voice creeps upon us. I can't help but continue to be frustrated. I know many people probably are thinking 'get over it already' and maybe I should be moving past what happened faster than I am. One thing I have learned is that grief takes on different forms for different people and we all heal at our own pace.
I know one of the things that has continued to frustrate and yes anger me, is the people responsible for this have yet to:
1. Acknowledge their carelessness
2. Apologize to me and my family (mostly Ethan) for destroying his life
2. Keep their promises and stand by their word
Back in June 2009 Lt. Colonel Doug Danielson promised on behalf of the Salvation Army that the Salvation Army would pay for anything insurance didn't cover. At the time we thought "Great! Wonderful! Ethan will get the care he needs!"
But soon we found out those were just empty words. Words of a Christian and more importantly a christian organization should be kept and should be honored.
Not so with Lt Colonel Danielson and the Salvation Army. Ethan has missed out on treatments and other therapies that might, just might be the difference in his recovery and progress.
We've been told that he will NEVER be the same, but I still hold out hope. Hope that as Rob once told me, as long as there is life there is hope. So I hope that Ethan will recovery and be the same little boy he was before we dared to trust an organization and their summer camp program.
At the very least I hope that I will once again here his voice say "Grandma" it's been way too long since I've heard my precious grandson talk to me.
I know I haven't posted in a very long time... so much has gone on and so many things to deal with, seems like before long another day then week, then month goes by.
What I haven't stopped doing is sharing Ethan's story and trying to keep other children safe.
What I haven't stopped doing is holding the people responsible for this accountable. Do what you said you were going to do Lt. Colonel Danielson. If you won't I'll continue to do what I can to hold you accountable until you do.
I know one of the things that has continued to frustrate and yes anger me, is the people responsible for this have yet to:
1. Acknowledge their carelessness
2. Apologize to me and my family (mostly Ethan) for destroying his life
2. Keep their promises and stand by their word
Back in June 2009 Lt. Colonel Doug Danielson promised on behalf of the Salvation Army that the Salvation Army would pay for anything insurance didn't cover. At the time we thought "Great! Wonderful! Ethan will get the care he needs!"
But soon we found out those were just empty words. Words of a Christian and more importantly a christian organization should be kept and should be honored.
Not so with Lt Colonel Danielson and the Salvation Army. Ethan has missed out on treatments and other therapies that might, just might be the difference in his recovery and progress.
We've been told that he will NEVER be the same, but I still hold out hope. Hope that as Rob once told me, as long as there is life there is hope. So I hope that Ethan will recovery and be the same little boy he was before we dared to trust an organization and their summer camp program.
At the very least I hope that I will once again here his voice say "Grandma" it's been way too long since I've heard my precious grandson talk to me.
I know I haven't posted in a very long time... so much has gone on and so many things to deal with, seems like before long another day then week, then month goes by.
What I haven't stopped doing is sharing Ethan's story and trying to keep other children safe.
What I haven't stopped doing is holding the people responsible for this accountable. Do what you said you were going to do Lt. Colonel Danielson. If you won't I'll continue to do what I can to hold you accountable until you do.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Last Year
Last year I had just kissed Ethan goodnight, after a night of hanging with him. We played Star Wars Lego’s on the WII and hung out and laughed and talked. If only I know that it would be the last time we would be able to hang out like that. That it would be the last time I would hear his voice, perhaps forever. I don't want to be pessimistic; I want to be able to believe that he will be back 100%. But I would be lying if I didn't say my faith hasn't been shaken.
I am so sick of people feeling pity for me or feeling awkward around me when I want to talk about this. I am so sick of feeling like I can't feel anger about this situation. I am so sick of how this has affected so much of my life.
I'm upset that the Salvation Army and John Kelley in particular will NOT step up and admit what they did. I really won't ever understand how these people go about their lives knowing that laziness and carelessness caused Ethan to have endured all he’s been through the past year.
I’m so sick of trying to figure out how I can help my daughter pay her bills, let alone get Ethan into Hyperbaric, while people keep asking “Won’t the Salvation Army pay?”
I will be the first to admit that I have to let go and trust God, but honestly I can’t. I’ve lost faith. I don’t understand how God will answer my prayers from a year ago and spare my daughter’s life, but not bring Ethan up out of that bed.
I know how much he has improved and I know he continues to fight and improve each day, but still it doesn’t make any difference, I can’t help what’s in my heart and God already knows.
I’m damn sick and tired of people, the worst offenders in my opinion being certain family members, they know who they are. The ones, who have said over and over, I’ll be there, tell me what you need, and when it comes right down to it haven’t even made an effort to go see Ethan. I’m done with you, don’t ask how Ethan is, and don’t ask what you can do. Because if you really wanted to know, you would have made time to go see him, you would have already done what you know you should do. Help Rose, and not just financially either. Call her, let her know you care, stop by and sit with Ethan, so she can go out and have a ‘normal’ day. Or just go about your life and don’t worry about us, but don’t pretend. You’re actions speak volumes of what’s in your heart.
I done, I’m over it. I don’t need your damn pity anymore. I don’t need you ‘helping’ us. Maybe I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but right or wrong, this is how I feel.
I do feel extremely proud of my daughter Rose. She has shown such remarkable strength and love fighting for care for Ethan and being by his side 100% of the time. She has had to endure so much and yet she does it, when it was only a year before that she was so sick. His own father couldn’t be there for him before the incident, much less after.
What an amazing person she is. And Ethan, oh my goodness, he is just so absolutely strong and amazing. His smile still both warms and breaks my heart. I love that little boy like nothing on this earth. I see a strong spirit that WILL not be squashed, that will not be kept down; if ever there was a fighter, it is Ethan. He is so absolutely, positively the most wonderful little boy ever. I know he won’t give up and that helps me to not want to give up.
Tonight I was asked what I wanted as resolution to all this, and to be quite honest, aside from being able to go back and change the outcome. I’m not 100% sure. I know I would want to be able to prevent this type of tragedy from happening to anyone else. To maybe even make the carelessness of how they cared for those children that day, a criminal act. To maybe just as I’ve said before, for people to admit how stupid it all was. That all it took was someone paying attention.
I do know that I will one day get past this anger I've carried around for a year, but that day is not today. That day is not on the near horizon.
I am so sick of people feeling pity for me or feeling awkward around me when I want to talk about this. I am so sick of feeling like I can't feel anger about this situation. I am so sick of how this has affected so much of my life.
I'm upset that the Salvation Army and John Kelley in particular will NOT step up and admit what they did. I really won't ever understand how these people go about their lives knowing that laziness and carelessness caused Ethan to have endured all he’s been through the past year.
I’m so sick of trying to figure out how I can help my daughter pay her bills, let alone get Ethan into Hyperbaric, while people keep asking “Won’t the Salvation Army pay?”
I will be the first to admit that I have to let go and trust God, but honestly I can’t. I’ve lost faith. I don’t understand how God will answer my prayers from a year ago and spare my daughter’s life, but not bring Ethan up out of that bed.
I know how much he has improved and I know he continues to fight and improve each day, but still it doesn’t make any difference, I can’t help what’s in my heart and God already knows.
I’m damn sick and tired of people, the worst offenders in my opinion being certain family members, they know who they are. The ones, who have said over and over, I’ll be there, tell me what you need, and when it comes right down to it haven’t even made an effort to go see Ethan. I’m done with you, don’t ask how Ethan is, and don’t ask what you can do. Because if you really wanted to know, you would have made time to go see him, you would have already done what you know you should do. Help Rose, and not just financially either. Call her, let her know you care, stop by and sit with Ethan, so she can go out and have a ‘normal’ day. Or just go about your life and don’t worry about us, but don’t pretend. You’re actions speak volumes of what’s in your heart.
I done, I’m over it. I don’t need your damn pity anymore. I don’t need you ‘helping’ us. Maybe I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but right or wrong, this is how I feel.
I do feel extremely proud of my daughter Rose. She has shown such remarkable strength and love fighting for care for Ethan and being by his side 100% of the time. She has had to endure so much and yet she does it, when it was only a year before that she was so sick. His own father couldn’t be there for him before the incident, much less after.
What an amazing person she is. And Ethan, oh my goodness, he is just so absolutely strong and amazing. His smile still both warms and breaks my heart. I love that little boy like nothing on this earth. I see a strong spirit that WILL not be squashed, that will not be kept down; if ever there was a fighter, it is Ethan. He is so absolutely, positively the most wonderful little boy ever. I know he won’t give up and that helps me to not want to give up.
Tonight I was asked what I wanted as resolution to all this, and to be quite honest, aside from being able to go back and change the outcome. I’m not 100% sure. I know I would want to be able to prevent this type of tragedy from happening to anyone else. To maybe even make the carelessness of how they cared for those children that day, a criminal act. To maybe just as I’ve said before, for people to admit how stupid it all was. That all it took was someone paying attention.
I do know that I will one day get past this anger I've carried around for a year, but that day is not today. That day is not on the near horizon.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Not again!
It broke my heart to wake up to the news that yesterday yet another child, a 3 yr old nearly drowned, here in Tucson. Instead of being safer, it has started sooner this year. I don't know what it will take to get people to watch children around water. Our children want to be safe, they want to follow the rules.
A year ago Ethan wanted to be safe, he was so excited to be able to go swimming with the other day camp kids. But sadly no one was watching. Why was no one watching? I just don't understand it. What will it take until we realize that children aren't water proof, that they need and trust the adults who care for them, to watch them.
Well I won't give up, I won't stop working to promote water safety, and I won't stop trying to get Ethan the treatments he needs. I wait for the day that Ethan will be able to walk and talk again and maybe he can share his story and people will finally listen.
A year ago Ethan wanted to be safe, he was so excited to be able to go swimming with the other day camp kids. But sadly no one was watching. Why was no one watching? I just don't understand it. What will it take until we realize that children aren't water proof, that they need and trust the adults who care for them, to watch them.
Well I won't give up, I won't stop working to promote water safety, and I won't stop trying to get Ethan the treatments he needs. I wait for the day that Ethan will be able to walk and talk again and maybe he can share his story and people will finally listen.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tucson Safe Kids
Been a busy few weeks, which is why I haven't posted in a while. I've had the pleasure some spending time with my favorite little guy. The best time was on May 1, Rose, Ethan and I went to the Northwest Fire Department's 13th Annual Burn Buster Blast! at the Foothills Mall. Ethan enjoyed looking at all the fire trucks, emergency vehicles and helicopters. He also was able (with a little help from Mom) to dunk Dan Marries, at the Casas Adobes Optimist Club dunk tank. As if all that fun wasn't enough, Ethan got to meet both Wilbur and Wilma Wildcat along with several members of the Sabar Shriner Clowns.
I've also been busy trying to do what I can to help keep Tucson kids safe. I attended my first meeting of Tucson Safe Kids and it was informative and they have lots of good ideas, but as usual one of the biggest problems is funding. I hope to be able to continue to volunteer with Tucson Safe Kids and do what I can to speak out about water safety.
If you're looking for ways to get involved and help keep Tucson Kids safe, check out Tucson Safe Kids @ http://www.safekids.org/in-your-area/coalitions/tucson.html
I've also been busy trying to do what I can to help keep Tucson kids safe. I attended my first meeting of Tucson Safe Kids and it was informative and they have lots of good ideas, but as usual one of the biggest problems is funding. I hope to be able to continue to volunteer with Tucson Safe Kids and do what I can to speak out about water safety.
If you're looking for ways to get involved and help keep Tucson Kids safe, check out Tucson Safe Kids @ http://www.safekids.org/in-your-area/coalitions/tucson.html
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