It never gets easier

Emotionally none of this gets any easier. I wish I could say it does, but each day something happens that just breaks my heart all over again. I don't know about other people and how they handle tragedies. How do these people rise above it all? For me, some days it seems to get harder instead of easier.

Last Tuesday, I went down to the Edith Ball Pool to help with the Tucson Safe Kids Water Safety program. This event was a culmination for over 800 first graders, who had been learning about safety and especially water safety in their classrooms. It was wonderful to see the kids so intent on learning all about water safety, but what broke my heart was when I looked up and saw several of the adult chaperones, disconnected and bored.

I wanted to scream, this is why Ethan is in the condition he is in, because someone got distracted, bored or was just plain disinterested in watching him.

Our children want to be safe, they want to learn, they want us to guide them and teach them the right way. We are supposed to set the example and set them on the right path.

They rely on the adults in their lives to watch over them, to protect them, and if you are not going to do so, then you have no business watching children or being responsible for them.

So here I am again spending the weekend watching Ethan, so Rose can work a little part-time job and get a little money in her pocket. Last night she comes home, and I can see she is tired and upset.

When I ask her what's wrong, she tells me that Friday she was listening to a local radio show and they had the guy, John Kelly from the Salvation Army on air, this is the guy who was supposed to be watching Ethan last year, and there he was on air promoting their charity fund raiser.

Normally, I'm all for an organization to raise funds to help people, but this organization and their carelessness is the reason Ethan nearly drowned, and yet they have not lifted a single finger to help us financially, or any other way for that matter.

When Ethan was at UMC members of the Salvation Army, came to the hospital and told my daughter that whatever she needed, whatever Ethan needed, they would take care of.

Well here it is almost 11 months later and they have not kept their word to help, instead they are on the radio promoting their organization and asking for money from the public.

Yes, I'm mad as hell over this. It tore me up to see my daughter so upset. I know how upset I would have been, had I heard this, and so I can only imagine how painful it must have been for her. It must have been like a slap in the face.


I know what you're thinking, that I should forgive and that the money they are raising is going to help other families, and maybe it is. But it doesn't change the situation; I wake up every day in the same nightmare.

All I know is that my grandson is not the same and that his injuries were 100% preventable and I know that he needs, desperately needs the benefits from hyperbaric oxygen treatments, and he hasn't been able to get those treatments since October of 2009.

All I know is that while I'm struggling to try to help my daughter and to raise money for Ethan's hyperbaric treatments. I've yet to hear an apology from the people responsible for his condition. I've yet to have anyone of them ask how they can help.

All I know is that the youth members of the Salvation Army have wanted to help with fund-raising and have been shut down and told that they could not help us.

Since I started the web page and the wristbands, we have raised approximately $452. We are thankful for everyone who has donated, but it's not nearly enough to get Ethan back into the hyperbaric chamber.

There was such a dramatic improvement after just the one round of hyperbaric, that I can't wait to get him back into treatments.

I know I'm supposed to forgive, God knows I know that I should be able to forgive.
But what can I say, I'm only human, and this is my only grandchild.